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your as useless as

. a chocolate teapot.

“Couldn’t organise a piss up in a brewery”, and
“Couldn’t organise an orgy in a brothel”
The expression is “as busy as a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest.” I use it at work all the time.

A related phrase I’ve always liked is “as busy as a one-armed paper hanger”
. . . a limp dick at the Playboy mansion.
and for someone who makes everything uselessly complex – that man could complicate a dog-fuck in the back yard.
My dad says “useless as tits on a boar hog”, which is weirdly redundant.

But.. it doesn’t make any sense. Why would a one-legged man be any more busy in an ass-kicking contest? He ought to be performing the same number of kicks as his bipedaled combatants.

I’ve always heard “as useless as a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest”. Which makes a great deal of sense if you picture a one legged man trying to kick someone in the ass.

[Archive] Simile: "Useless as…" In My Humble Opinion (IMHO)

3) Rosie O’donell’s personal trainer

[QUOTE=”horgen123″]Rosie O’donell is who? SteverXIII

Give me your best ones.

4) Bicycle peddles on a wheelchair

Rosie O’donell is who? horgen123

A fat cow who should get the hell off the TV

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1) a one legged man in a azz kicking contest.

ejection seat on a helicopter DaBrainz

1) a one legged man in a azz kicking contest.2) T!ts on a nun3) Rosie O'donell's personal trainer4) Bicycle peddles on a wheelchairGive me your best ones.