These drinks can be expensive—up to $60 a pop—but that’s a small price to pay when your job may be on the line. They all offer the same thing: a same-day, temporary fix for your THC-tainted piss, so long as you use ‘em exactly as directed.
Karen told her to drink Rescue an hour before “cleansing time,” then refill the bottle with water twice and drink that within 30 minutes. She was then supposed to pee three times, after which she should be good to go for three to five hours. Quite a lot of work!
“Drink the entire bottle 60 to 90 minutes before your desired time.”
For context, Jolene’s marijuana consumption is probably slightly, but not much, below average for stoners. She smokes a bowl most days after work, and blazes up two to three times a day on the weekends. Occasionally she’ll have an edible or do a dab, but says she usually sticks to traditional smoking methods—bowls, bongs, and joints. Most of these drinks caution “heavy” users to double their dosage, or go with a more concentrated version, so if you smoke more or less than Jolene, you’re likely to have different results. And none of the results we got here should be considered scientific or at all conclusive.
Photo on left from Getty Images. Right and all other photos via the author
First up, we had Jolene try out a 17-ounce bottle of Rescue Detox. According to Karen, the very sweet Applied Sciences customer service lady we reached at the “LIVE SUPPORT” number listed at the bottom of the bottle, Jolene had to avoid eating for five hours before she did the cleanse. Luckily, it was Sunday, so Jolene had just woken up from a four and a half hour nap after spending the morning smoking and eating an entire large portion of Popeye’s mac and cheese, as one does.
While Jeff Sessions seems to believe otherwise, countless studies have shown marijuana to be significantly less dangerous than other Schedule I drugs like heroin and cocaine and much safer than legal substances like alcohol and tobacco. To add insult to injury, when it comes to pre- or post-employment drug testing—which most often takes the form of a urine test—marijuana is the substance that takes the longest to get out of your system.
The drug tests we purchased are pretty standard pee tests. Basically you wee into a cup, take the cap off the drug test, and then submerge the little rectangular piece at the end for about ten seconds. Results take about five minutes. The test we bought for the purposes of this experiment are used specifically to detect THC and nothing else.
As such, we decided to put three brands to the test:
From the Stinger Detox to the Detoxify Xxtraclean Herbal Cleanse & Rescue Detox, we tested these detox drinks that say they’ll help you pass a urine test.
The answer to that question is absolutely not. There is no such thing as a liquid, or any other substance, that can permanently cleanse your body of drug toxins on its own.
There is nothing out there that can go into your body and drag the toxins out of the cells and your bloodstream. On top of that, there is nothing that can accelerate the natural elimination of toxins to such a rate that you can be permanently body cleansed in a short space of time, like a day or so.
But as you now know, there is no such thing as a permanent urine cleanser, so none of these things are going to work, and some are actually damaging.
Its effects only last for a handful of hours, which is why it is only a temporary urine cleanser.
They do a single day course, but I would really not recommend that, or even the three-day course.
So I’m going to explain to you exactly what a urine cleanser really is, and what it can achieve. Because I would hate for you to get caught out and fail a drug test, just because you haven’t been clear on what a urine cleanser is, or isn’t.
For some drugs and lights drug users, this can mean you can go from high, to having no signs in your body of having taken anything, within as little as 24 hours.
Using a urine cleanser for a drug test is an obvious thing to consider if you are facing a drug test. However, there is a problem with using the term urine cleanser at all.
As we’ve now established, the best urine cleanser, other than a natural detox, is to temporarily mask the drug toxins.
Using a urine cleanser for drug test is an obvious thing to consider, if you are facing a drug test. However, there is a problem with using the term urine cleanser at all.So I'm going to explain to you exactly what a urine cleanser really is, and what it can achieve. Because I would hate for you to get caught out and fail a drug test, just because you haven't been clear on what a urine cleanser is, or isn't.