The drink itself was a bright, neon yellow that looked slightly radioactive. Jolene said it tasted like synthetic blueberries and had a distinct aftertaste. She chugged it down over the course of ten minutes, and then refilled the bottle twice, choking down gulp after gulp of weird-tasting water until her stomach was bursting with 1.5 liters of liquid.
Luckily for them, and those of us who enjoy the occasional after-work blunt or who use marijuana to treat otherwise unmanageable chronic illnesses, there’s an entire industry devoted to beating the dreaded piss test. With enough advanced notice, there might be several ways you could go—quitting outright, subbing your dirty pee with a straight edge friend’s. But if your boss springs the news on you with only hours to spare, you’ve got pretty much one viable option: detox drinks.
The drug tests we purchased are pretty standard pee tests. Basically you wee into a cup, take the cap off the drug test, and then submerge the little rectangular piece at the end for about ten seconds. Results take about five minutes. The test we bought for the purposes of this experiment are used specifically to detect THC and nothing else.
As such, we decided to put three brands to the test:
“Drink the entire bottle 60 to 90 minutes before your desired time.”
It’s a light line, but it’s there.
“Frequent urination indicates that you are experiencing optimal cleansing.”
Karen told her to drink Rescue an hour before “cleansing time,” then refill the bottle with water twice and drink that within 30 minutes. She was then supposed to pee three times, after which she should be good to go for three to five hours. Quite a lot of work!
According to a poll released by the Society for Human Resource Management, about 57 percent of American companies subject employees to drug tests. That’s down significantly from 81 percent in 1996, possibly because employers are finding it increasingly difficult to find quality candidates who are able to pass.
From the Stinger Detox to the Detoxify Xxtraclean Herbal Cleanse & Rescue Detox, we tested these detox drinks that say they’ll help you pass a urine test.
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Photo courtesy of Clear Choice
We’ve put Clear Choice’s Rescue Cleanse as the number one detox drink for a few reasons: not only is Clear Choice the most effective detox drink currently available, but it isn’t as disgusting as the other options (like drinking vinegar). Clear Choice comes in several sizes. If you are over 200 pounds you’ll need to take the 32oz version. But if you’re under 200 pounds make sure that you take the 17oz bottle. Too much is just as bad as too little.
This trick works especially good if you have to take a drug test on extremely short notice. The technique is simple: 30 minutes before your drug test, drink as much water as possible. Then hold in all that pee until it’s time to take your drug test. With any luck, a waterfall of H2O will shoot through your small intestines and out of your urinary tract and into the pee cup.
Mix everything together in a large glass, hold your nose, and try to get the experience over with as quick as possible. Oh yeah, and you’ll need to consume this detox drink at least three times on the day of your drug test.
Detox Drink #4: Lots of Water.
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Photo Via Getty Images
Sometimes, it’s best to keep things simple. If you can’t stomach acidic ingredients like lemon juice or apple cider vinegar, sometimes the best detox drink is just plain old water. The trick here is volume and timing.
Detox Drink #2: Lemon Juice.
For this detox drink, you’ll need to mix together 16oz of warm water, 2tbs of apple cider vinegar, 2tbs of lemon juice, 1tsp of ground ginger, 1/4tsp of cinnamon, and a pinch of cayenne pepper. Adding 1 tsp of honey is recommended to sweeten the flavor, and make the experience slightly more enjoyable. (Though realistically, you’re not making cocktails here—you’re trying to flush THC out of your system.)
Other than timing, Clear Choice is a pre-mixed detox drink designed specifically to help you pass your drug test. So sit back, relax, and let Clear Choice run its magic.
Detox Drink #3: Nuclear Meltdown.
There are a number of detox drinks that can help you clear the THC from your system. Here are some of your best options.
The 4 Best Detox Drinks For Passing A Drug Test And Keeping Your Job What do athletes, investors, and Walmart employees have in common? In order to be one, you may have to pass a drug test. And