It’s a light line, but it’s there.
There are several of these on the market, “cleansing supplements” that, at a glance, seem to be nothing more than herbal energy drinks. On the back of each bottle, the language used is deliberately vague.
“Drink the entire bottle 60 to 90 minutes before your desired time.”
“Frequent urination indicates that you are experiencing optimal cleansing.”
In the photo above, you’ll see Jolene’s first pre-drink test. It is very positive. The “C” on the test stands for “Control.” The line next to it appears whether the test is negative or positive. The “T” stands for “Test.” If a line appears in “T,” the test is negative. If no line appears, the test is positive. As you can see above, Jolene was not able to produce a “T” line because she is high af.
First up, we had Jolene try out a 17-ounce bottle of Rescue Detox. According to Karen, the very sweet Applied Sciences customer service lady we reached at the “LIVE SUPPORT” number listed at the bottom of the bottle, Jolene had to avoid eating for five hours before she did the cleanse. Luckily, it was Sunday, so Jolene had just woken up from a four and a half hour nap after spending the morning smoking and eating an entire large portion of Popeye’s mac and cheese, as one does.
Luckily for them, and those of us who enjoy the occasional after-work blunt or who use marijuana to treat otherwise unmanageable chronic illnesses, there’s an entire industry devoted to beating the dreaded piss test. With enough advanced notice, there might be several ways you could go—quitting outright, subbing your dirty pee with a straight edge friend’s. But if your boss springs the news on you with only hours to spare, you’ve got pretty much one viable option: detox drinks.
For context, Jolene’s marijuana consumption is probably slightly, but not much, below average for stoners. She smokes a bowl most days after work, and blazes up two to three times a day on the weekends. Occasionally she’ll have an edible or do a dab, but says she usually sticks to traditional smoking methods—bowls, bongs, and joints. Most of these drinks caution “heavy” users to double their dosage, or go with a more concentrated version, so if you smoke more or less than Jolene, you’re likely to have different results. And none of the results we got here should be considered scientific or at all conclusive.
After three pees that, in Jolene’s words, “looked like I drank highlighter ink,” she took the test. It actually fucking worked. While the line was thin, it counted. Jolene tested negative for THC, despite having smoked several pre-noon bowls just hours before. We were both pretty shocked by this turn of events.
From the Stinger Detox to the Detoxify Xxtraclean Herbal Cleanse & Rescue Detox, we tested these detox drinks that say they’ll help you pass a urine test.
We BOTH passed with a “Dilute Negative”, which is just good as a regular ol’ Negative, according to those in charge of our employment. We weren’t required to retest, but if you end up needing to, that just buys your body more time to clean out whatever toxin(s) necessary – and gives you time to restock on detoxes.
47 yr old male I was a medium to chronic user for 25 years, every single day several puffs throughout the day of super high grade. 4-5 good tokes a day, then a bunch before bed.
I went into diet/exercise/ supplement mode for 5 weeks with no toxins. Also did a two week herbal cleanse
But not sure how much of any of that stuff mattered in the end, but I wanted to do all I could.
I also got a creatine supplement as recommended. As these levels fall with diluted urine and will make your sample get rejected
Must be ethyl ester, not monohydrate
Works faster I read
Bulk supplements .com on amazon.
Definitely got the stronger darker neg line after the 2 hour mark, all three times in which I tried the product.
I will say it again.
This stuff worked and gave me the window I needed in order to pass as a frequent smoker.
I drank two bottles each time to be safe.
I would absolutely use this product again if I needed to, and I’d definitely recommend this product to others needing to pass government-regulated tests. No one should lose a career over a little THC.
TLDR; Drink works, would recommend.
Company calls two days later to tell me I passed
Like magic elixir for stoners
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