Cooper: THC does hide in the fat cells. It hides in the fat cells of every body—no matter their weight. These detoxifier drinks, exercising, and drinking a lot of water prior to a test can flush those things out of the system. It’s a two layer protection system. The detoxifiers will help get the THC out of the fat cells and they also supply something in case it didn’t get all of it. It covers THC leaks and hides that from the testers.
Cooper: There are home remedies that work, but they don’t work 100-percent. There are so many different factors in terms of being able to fool these drug tests. I tell people all the time I wouldn’t take my chance with lemon juice and cinnamon and several other things you can mix together, that’s one home drink that works sometimes. I just wouldn’t take a chance with my freedom on those. I would go to a local head shop or go online and buy from a good source because that’s the only way to really pass excepting abstinence.
Armentano: Abstinence is the only sure-fire way to beat a drug test. And of course, drug tests and labs are human. It’s even possible that somebody may have never been exposed to illicit drugs and could have an unfortunate incidence where their test comes back positive anyway. That’s why our samples are generally split into an A sample and a B sample. In case something like that happens.
Can the stuff they sell at the local head shop help you beat a dirty urine?
Barry Cooper: Yeah, 100-percent. What I tell people, if they don’t have time to buy from a good online source, go to the local head shop and ask the clerk what their best detoxifier is. And it’s important not to say “Drug detoxifier” or “I’m on probation” or “employment drug test” because they won’t sell it to you. They’re not allowed to sell these [items] to pass a drug test. That’s why they’re sold as detoxifiers. The local head shops have the right product to beat the tests that are being used locally in that court [district]. That’s why I tell people to go to the head shop in whatever court jurisdiction they’re in, that’s the store they need to go to, to buy their stuff.
Cooper: Test Clear and Pass Your Test. I know that shit works. For the last 12 years I’ve been working to keep people out of jail. These detox drinks do that. And the detox products for the hair follicles [work also]. I’ve been doing this a long time. They work.
What about the THC sticks to fat cells argument?
Barry Cooper is a former drug agent and current drug expert/humanitarian who’s been featured on VICE before. He’s been teaching how to pass a drug test for over 12 years and has a website, Never Get Busted. Paul Armentano is NORML’s Deputy Director. NORML has been a player in the marijuana legalization effort since the jump. I talked to both by phone to find out the best way to beat a drug test, if the stuff they sell at the local head shop works, and what home remedies can help beat a drug test. Here’s what they had to say.
What about dilution? How much water should your drink?
Cooper: There’s a rhyme that says, “The solution to pollution is dilution.” There’s a lot of truth to that. The problem is when we dilute and drink a lot of water—the idea is to drink it an hour before your test—you pee really nothing but water. The amounts of THC are not high enough to be detectable. The problem is that the color of the urine is the same color as pure water. When they see that, it’s usually flagged as a test that’s been tampered with. That’s why a lot of these products, these detox drinks, they tell you to drink a lot of water with it. But it has niacin and other colorings added to it on purpose so your urine is a normal color after diluting.
Different metabolites have different half-lives. Cannabis is different [than] cocaine. That has to do with the makeup of the metabolite itself. Carboxy-THC is lipid-soluble. Cocaine’s metabolite is water-soluble. A water-soluble metabolite is going to be broken down and excreted as waste by the body much more quickly than will a fat-soluble metabolite. It’s literally simply the chemistry of THC that makes it present for a far longer time than it would otherwise be. Someone’s metabolic rate may influence some variation of how long that process is going to take. But at a fundamental level, drug tests are going to be much more likely to identify someone who uses cannabis as opposed to someone who uses other drugs, simply because cannabis’ metabolite is fat-soluble and most other drug metabolites are water-soluble.
Some of the detoxifying drinks may work.
Various different drug screening methods can detect THC use, such as hair samples, blood samples, and urine samples. Chances are that your workplace will most likely elect to test urine samples. THC metabolites can stay in the body for varying amounts of time, with factors such as the potency of the weed, metabolism, and the amount of weed smoked contributing to overall duration.
If the acidic nature of lemon juice doesn’t do any favours for your digestive system, you can just keep things simple. Water might not seem like a miracle elixir when it comes to passing a drug test, but drinking enough of it will dilute your urine and have you peeing clear. If you have a drug test sprung up on you, aim to really smash down the water during the hour before it occurs. Although, submitting a urine sample that is entirely transparent and crystal clear might seem quite suspicious and disqualify your sample. But at least you are far more likely to pass it.
However, cranberry juice for general detoxing has been suggested by alternative doctors and naturopaths. A mixture of cranberry juice and water is reported to flush the kidneys, lymphatic system, and intestines of toxins, and may provide results within a single week. A mix of cranberry juice, water, electrolytes, and B-vitamin complex will help to dilute your urine and really get bladder momentum going.
This judgement has made its way into the rules of regulations of many workplaces, causing employers to test their staff for drug use. Rather hypocritically, many employers accept alcohol use, a drug proven to be highly dangerous, yet will not tolerate cannabis use. This means that both recreational and medicinal cannabis users risk losing their jobs and damaging their career if they make the sovereign adult decision to partake in the herb.
A warm hug-in-a-mug beverage consumed by millions, this stimulating drink may also be an effective way to expel THC metabolites from the system, which is great news for coffee lovers. Coffee is a natural diuretic, meaning it helps to remove excess water from the body. Drinking a good amount of espresso combined with water and electrolytes will really help to open the floodgates.
Lots of juice, fruits, and fluids. This drug test passing business is seeming pretty healthy right? Next on our list is the slightly tart but equally delicious option of cranberry juice. Cranberry juice is perhaps one of the most widely suggested options when it comes to a THC detox. The science behind this option isn’t exactly clear, but it seems to derive from anecdotal success and experimentation.
Do you have a drug test coming up soon? Have you been hitting the bong quite frequently lately? Well fear not, there is still a chance you could pass the test with flying colours. These detox drinks are reported to help remove THC from the system.
For some people, smoking cannabis is a recreational ritual that comforts the soul and greatly enhances social engagement and the creative process. For others, it is a daily requirement to fend off symptoms of anxiety, depression, chronic pain, and even epilepsy. As such, many individuals use cannabis regardless of the rules in effect at their workplace.
Regardless of your reasons for smoking weed, if your employer conducts routine or even last minute drug tests, there are ways to improve your chances of passing them. Even if you have invited THC into your bloodstream fairly recently, detox drinks are an effective way of ridding these molecules from your system before work gets the chance to bust you for it.
While cannabis is remarkably safe, stigma still surrounds the herb. Many employers test for THC, but these detox drinks may help you pass future drug tests.