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games to play when you’re high

Best damn farming simulator. CHANGE MY MIND. – NC

I would recommend slither.io. It’s a free in-browser multiplayer game where you are a snake eating colorful, glowing orbs to grow larger. You start out very small and can potentially get very big. When you inevitably run into another snake, you explode into a bunch of smoldering spheres yourself. It’s pretty chill. – Peter Slattery, Social Media Editor, VICE
Kirby Air Ride is like Mario Kart, but it’s from the early 2000s and the steering is objectively garbage. If you’re not feeling racing, I’d highly recommend the “City Trial” option, where you and up to three of your friends can ride around a “city” collecting power-ups like speed, steering—yes, the steering is so bad on some of these little airships that you need power-ups to make them use-able—and weight (great for melee, horrible for flight). If your opponents collect a power-up that you wanted, you can literally smack it out of them. It’s great. At the end of the City Trial you and your friends duel in some mini competition, sometimes a race, sometimes a flight challenge, and occasionally a brawl. The real joy is in accomplishing City Trial tasks that unlock new Kirby colors and airships—like knocking down all the trees in the forest, finding the “garden in the sky,” and, of course, finding all three pieces of the legendary ship. Yes, you can smack these legendary ship pieces out of your opponents as well. – NC

More than that, the gameplay is an absolute joy. It combines the best of JRPG style movement, with absolutely massive swords or hammers, and a hovering companion bot that can shoot bullets or missiles. It’s a bullet hell that never feels like drudgery.
If you’re going to pick a Bethesda game to play high, don’t go for the higher brow Skyrim or any of the Fallout titles. Nah, pick up Morrowind—a de facto turning point in Elder Scrolls titles that still has crap graphics and a really willy-nilly combat system where it’s unclear if your weapons ever connect with your enemy, but sometimes they get hurt (and usually you do, too). The game is incredible, you don’t even need a fence to sell stolen goods.
What if the Roman Empire had never collapsed and the first astronauts on the moon spoke Latin? What if Shaka Zulu, and not Genghis Khan, conquered the largest landmass of all time? What if rock n roll was invented under the rule of Egyptian Pharaohs? All of these possibilities and more are tangled up in Sid Meier’s turn-based strategy series, Civilization. I particularly like the game Civilization Revolution for its goofy graphics and sound effects, and the fact that you can beat it in like 15 turns if you’re cutthroat and lucky. – BM
Your dad, the King of the Cosmos, destroyed all the stars and constellations, and now you’ve got to clean up his mess by rolling thousands of objects into bigger and bigger balls. Reach critical mass, and you can replace the stars. That’s the out-there-as-fuck premise of Katamari Damacy, one of the trippiest and most satisfying games of all time. It requires critical thinking and adaptation, but isn’t competitive or dark, and is easy on the reflexes.
Tetris was the first entertainment software export of the Soviet Union according to Wikipedia, so that’s fun to think about. Nothing is more satisfying than crushing four rows of blocks with a single straight Tetrimino—the official name of Tetris blocks—while listening to music originally composed the Russian poet Nikolai Nekrasov. When you’re high, it sends tingles down your spine. – BM

Being high is also the only way to make Dwemer Ruins at all palatable. – Nicole Clark, Staff Writer, VICE

Don't bother playing anything stoned if it's not on this list.