“Frequent urination indicates that you are experiencing optimal cleansing.”
These drinks can be expensive—up to $60 a pop—but that’s a small price to pay when your job may be on the line. They all offer the same thing: a same-day, temporary fix for your THC-tainted piss, so long as you use ‘em exactly as directed.
While Jeff Sessions seems to believe otherwise, countless studies have shown marijuana to be significantly less dangerous than other Schedule I drugs like heroin and cocaine and much safer than legal substances like alcohol and tobacco. To add insult to injury, when it comes to pre- or post-employment drug testing—which most often takes the form of a urine test—marijuana is the substance that takes the longest to get out of your system.
After three pees that, in Jolene’s words, “looked like I drank highlighter ink,” she took the test. It actually fucking worked. While the line was thin, it counted. Jolene tested negative for THC, despite having smoked several pre-noon bowls just hours before. We were both pretty shocked by this turn of events.
But do they actually, like, work? This is a question even the most diligent Googler is wont to find. As it stands, all the available information on these detox drinks seems to be either an obvious paid promotion for one brand or another, or come from anons with usernames like Stoner4Lyfe420 on eight-year old marijuana message board threads.
In the photo above, you’ll see Jolene’s first pre-drink test. It is very positive. The “C” on the test stands for “Control.” The line next to it appears whether the test is negative or positive. The “T” stands for “Test.” If a line appears in “T,” the test is negative. If no line appears, the test is positive. As you can see above, Jolene was not able to produce a “T” line because she is high af.
For context, Jolene’s marijuana consumption is probably slightly, but not much, below average for stoners. She smokes a bowl most days after work, and blazes up two to three times a day on the weekends. Occasionally she’ll have an edible or do a dab, but says she usually sticks to traditional smoking methods—bowls, bongs, and joints. Most of these drinks caution “heavy” users to double their dosage, or go with a more concentrated version, so if you smoke more or less than Jolene, you’re likely to have different results. And none of the results we got here should be considered scientific or at all conclusive.
Karen told her to drink Rescue an hour before “cleansing time,” then refill the bottle with water twice and drink that within 30 minutes. She was then supposed to pee three times, after which she should be good to go for three to five hours. Quite a lot of work!
The drug tests we purchased are pretty standard pee tests. Basically you wee into a cup, take the cap off the drug test, and then submerge the little rectangular piece at the end for about ten seconds. Results take about five minutes. The test we bought for the purposes of this experiment are used specifically to detect THC and nothing else.
From the Stinger Detox to the Detoxify Xxtraclean Herbal Cleanse & Rescue Detox, we tested these detox drinks that say they’ll help you pass a urine test.
THC detox products are herbal drinks, pills, or kits that claim to flush out the tetrahydrocannabinol (THC) from the body. Unlike other methods that promise the same results, such as vinegar, cranberry juice, bleach, and excessive water consumption, THC detox products are marketed as fast and effective marijuana detox solutions.
There are several types of THC detox products available for purchase:
Marijuana can be detected in bodily fluids anywhere from one to 30 days. It can also be detected in hair for several months after initial use. 2 However, the range of time in which marijuana can be detected in the body varies greatly depending on the dosage and frequency of marijuana use. Other factors will also influence how long THC stays in the body, such as your age, gender, and BMI, which all affect how your body processes and metabolizes marijuana.
Inpatient medical detox provides several benefits that THC detox products donвЂ™t, ensuring your safety and comfort throughout the whole experience. For example, medical marijuana detox provides:
Medically-assisted marijuana detox is a great way to begin an addiction treatment program if youвЂ™re trying to get sober and stay that way.В For business executives,people with established careers, or anyone who needs additional discretion and privacy during detox, an executive detox programВ for marijuana addiction may also be helpful.
The longer you use marijuana, the more likely you are to have severe withdrawal symptoms when you drastically reduce your marijuana use or stop completely. Although some symptoms may be mild, marijuana withdrawal symptoms may also be severe. 7
- 24/7 medical and clinical care by professionals
- A safe and sober environment in which to detox
- Reduced risk of relapse
- Medication-assisted treatment to reduce or eliminate the discomfort of withdrawal symptoms
- Individual and group therapy to the address social, cognitive, and psychological aspects of marijuana abuse or addiction
- Healthy meals to help restore balance in your body
- Professional recommendations for ongoing addiction treatment after detox
Although most people who use marijuana do not go on to abuse harder substances like heroin or prescription drugs, it may still be a precursor to more substance abuse later in life. 9
- THC detox drinks вЂ“ THC detox drinks will not rid your body of THC, rather, they temporarily lower levels of THC in your urine. They may not always work, and results vary greatly depending on the person, the frequency of marijuana abuse, hydration levels, stress, and several other factors.
- THC detox pills вЂ“ Many herbal THC detox pills suggest users take them as a dietary supplement. They typically contain herbs, vitamins, and minerals that claim to cleanse the body of THC.
- THC detox kit вЂ“ THC detox kits contain several pills, powders, and/or drinks to help marijuana users detox quickly. Many kits promise complete detox in 5 hours to 7 days.
Do you need to detox from marijuana? HereвЂ™s why you may want to reconsider using a THC detox product and go for safer medical detox instead.