In the photo above, you’ll see Jolene’s first pre-drink test. It is very positive. The “C” on the test stands for “Control.” The line next to it appears whether the test is negative or positive. The “T” stands for “Test.” If a line appears in “T,” the test is negative. If no line appears, the test is positive. As you can see above, Jolene was not able to produce a “T” line because she is high af.
Karen told her to drink Rescue an hour before “cleansing time,” then refill the bottle with water twice and drink that within 30 minutes. She was then supposed to pee three times, after which she should be good to go for three to five hours. Quite a lot of work!
For context, Jolene’s marijuana consumption is probably slightly, but not much, below average for stoners. She smokes a bowl most days after work, and blazes up two to three times a day on the weekends. Occasionally she’ll have an edible or do a dab, but says she usually sticks to traditional smoking methods—bowls, bongs, and joints. Most of these drinks caution “heavy” users to double their dosage, or go with a more concentrated version, so if you smoke more or less than Jolene, you’re likely to have different results. And none of the results we got here should be considered scientific or at all conclusive.
“Drink the entire bottle 60 to 90 minutes before your desired time.”
These drinks can be expensive—up to $60 a pop—but that’s a small price to pay when your job may be on the line. They all offer the same thing: a same-day, temporary fix for your THC-tainted piss, so long as you use ‘em exactly as directed.
First up, we had Jolene try out a 17-ounce bottle of Rescue Detox. According to Karen, the very sweet Applied Sciences customer service lady we reached at the “LIVE SUPPORT” number listed at the bottom of the bottle, Jolene had to avoid eating for five hours before she did the cleanse. Luckily, it was Sunday, so Jolene had just woken up from a four and a half hour nap after spending the morning smoking and eating an entire large portion of Popeye’s mac and cheese, as one does.
The drink itself was a bright, neon yellow that looked slightly radioactive. Jolene said it tasted like synthetic blueberries and had a distinct aftertaste. She chugged it down over the course of ten minutes, and then refilled the bottle twice, choking down gulp after gulp of weird-tasting water until her stomach was bursting with 1.5 liters of liquid.
After three pees that, in Jolene’s words, “looked like I drank highlighter ink,” she took the test. It actually fucking worked. While the line was thin, it counted. Jolene tested negative for THC, despite having smoked several pre-noon bowls just hours before. We were both pretty shocked by this turn of events.
There are several of these on the market, “cleansing supplements” that, at a glance, seem to be nothing more than herbal energy drinks. On the back of each bottle, the language used is deliberately vague.
From the Stinger Detox to the Detoxify Xxtraclean Herbal Cleanse & Rescue Detox, we tested these detox drinks that say they’ll help you pass a urine test.
- Always make sure you do a home drug test kit before you walk out of your door. Make sure that your toxins are being masked before you leave. Have a Plan B just in case, it could be feigning illness, but it could also be:
- Drink water and urinate more
- Quickly prepare a sample of Sub Solution synthetic urine in minutes
- Drink a second detox drink
- They will have a complex all-natural formula
- You won’t need to drink lots of additional water
- They won’t be cheap, usually $50 or higher
- They will have a strong set of user reviews online over several years
- Current reviews will also be good, it won’t rest on its use are history
- The formula will be powerful and updated to move with the times
This allows you to do the 24-hour detox I talked about earlier. Then you can use Mega Clean the next day, and it will be a very powerful combination.
What this means is that just for a few hours, you get naturally balanced urine that is toxin-free. But as soon as the effects of the detox drink wear off, the toxins will start to reappear in your bladder.
It’s the same as detox pills that claim to target THC. Although the pills can contain fiber which THC metabolites do bind to, it doesn’t solve the overall problem that many of those metabolites will still have out through your urine.
That’s not saying Mega Clean is rubbish on its own. If you’re not a heavy smoker, and/or you have a small body size, then Mega Clean will be plenty good enough. But just make sure that you have a home drug test kit to double-check before you leave. You can read my detailed review here.
But you rarely get that much notice of a drug test. But if you think you’re going to get one because you are going for job interviews, then you could do a natural detox rather than firefighting by using a detox drink.
The reason is that on its own it’s not as strong as the other two recommendations I’ve given here, but it’s definitely better than the rest of the bunch. But what you do get if you buy it online from my recommended retailer is Mega Clean with six Toxin Rid pre-rid pills.
What they don’t do is to detox your body properly. A lot of people think that you can simply drink a detox drink and it will flush the toxins out of your body fully. All the toxins will be removed from your liver, kidneys, blood, saliva, everything.
A lot of people are skeptical about using detox drinks for drug tests because they can't see how just drinking a detox drink will clean out their body in one hour. Well, you are not alone in that concern, and when I first realized I was going to have to take a drug test, I was skeptical as well about detox drinks as a solution.