In the photo above, you’ll see Jolene’s first pre-drink test. It is very positive. The “C” on the test stands for “Control.” The line next to it appears whether the test is negative or positive. The “T” stands for “Test.” If a line appears in “T,” the test is negative. If no line appears, the test is positive. As you can see above, Jolene was not able to produce a “T” line because she is high af.
As such, we decided to put three brands to the test:
First up, we had Jolene try out a 17-ounce bottle of Rescue Detox. According to Karen, the very sweet Applied Sciences customer service lady we reached at the “LIVE SUPPORT” number listed at the bottom of the bottle, Jolene had to avoid eating for five hours before she did the cleanse. Luckily, it was Sunday, so Jolene had just woken up from a four and a half hour nap after spending the morning smoking and eating an entire large portion of Popeye’s mac and cheese, as one does.
But do they actually, like, work? This is a question even the most diligent Googler is wont to find. As it stands, all the available information on these detox drinks seems to be either an obvious paid promotion for one brand or another, or come from anons with usernames like Stoner4Lyfe420 on eight-year old marijuana message board threads.
There are several of these on the market, “cleansing supplements” that, at a glance, seem to be nothing more than herbal energy drinks. On the back of each bottle, the language used is deliberately vague.
“Drink the entire bottle 60 to 90 minutes before your desired time.”
Our test was simple. We ordered a ten-pack of THC pee tests from Amazon for $7.99, and recruited a regular recreational weed smoker—a 28-year-old woman we’ll call “Jolene”—to test out these drinks over the course of a week without altering her normal weed habits. She’d try out one drink every two days, and take a control test before starting each one to make sure she was still testing positive before drinking them. Then she’d follow the directions on each bottle and see whether she could piss herself clean.
Luckily for them, and those of us who enjoy the occasional after-work blunt or who use marijuana to treat otherwise unmanageable chronic illnesses, there’s an entire industry devoted to beating the dreaded piss test. With enough advanced notice, there might be several ways you could go—quitting outright, subbing your dirty pee with a straight edge friend’s. But if your boss springs the news on you with only hours to spare, you’ve got pretty much one viable option: detox drinks.
Karen told her to drink Rescue an hour before “cleansing time,” then refill the bottle with water twice and drink that within 30 minutes. She was then supposed to pee three times, after which she should be good to go for three to five hours. Quite a lot of work!
From the Stinger Detox to the Detoxify Xxtraclean Herbal Cleanse & Rescue Detox, we tested these detox drinks that say they’ll help you pass a urine test.
This judgement has made its way into the rules of regulations of many workplaces, causing employers to test their staff for drug use. Rather hypocritically, many employers accept alcohol use, a drug proven to be highly dangerous, yet will not tolerate cannabis use. This means that both recreational and medicinal cannabis users risk losing their jobs and damaging their career if they make the sovereign adult decision to partake in the herb.
When it comes to urine samples, an infrequent user will test positive on a drug test up to four days after last smoking the herb. A frequent user will test positive up to 10 days after, and a heavy user can show up positive anywhere between 1–2 months after last smoking. Detox drinks serve as a tool to reduce these timeframes.
Lemon juice has been proposed as a detox drink in general. Many health gurus and fitness preachers espouse its effectiveness in cleansing the body and shifting toxins. Some experts are unsure whether lemon really has strong detoxing properties, but the citrus fruit does contain hefty amounts of vitamins nonetheless.
It is reported that lemon juice has the ability to flush THC metabolites out of the system in surprisingly small quantities. It is advised to mix one tablespoon of lemon juice with 500ml of water, which should be sipped frequently over the course of several hours. The goal here is to drink this mixture around 7–8 times over a few days before a drug screening. If you’ve been hitting the vape pretty hard recently, be sure to carry a bottle of this mixture around with you to ensure you consume enough.
Some of the most talked about detox drinks have been carefully crafted by companies in order to provide customers with the best results possible. Others are derived from internet forums, requiring everyday kitchen ingredients and a large dose of skepticism.
Various different drug screening methods can detect THC use, such as hair samples, blood samples, and urine samples. Chances are that your workplace will most likely elect to test urine samples. THC metabolites can stay in the body for varying amounts of time, with factors such as the potency of the weed, metabolism, and the amount of weed smoked contributing to overall duration.
If the acidic nature of lemon juice doesn’t do any favours for your digestive system, you can just keep things simple. Water might not seem like a miracle elixir when it comes to passing a drug test, but drinking enough of it will dilute your urine and have you peeing clear. If you have a drug test sprung up on you, aim to really smash down the water during the hour before it occurs. Although, submitting a urine sample that is entirely transparent and crystal clear might seem quite suspicious and disqualify your sample. But at least you are far more likely to pass it.
A warm hug-in-a-mug beverage consumed by millions, this stimulating drink may also be an effective way to expel THC metabolites from the system, which is great news for coffee lovers. Coffee is a natural diuretic, meaning it helps to remove excess water from the body. Drinking a good amount of espresso combined with water and electrolytes will really help to open the floodgates.
Regardless of your reasons for smoking weed, if your employer conducts routine or even last minute drug tests, there are ways to improve your chances of passing them. Even if you have invited THC into your bloodstream fairly recently, detox drinks are an effective way of ridding these molecules from your system before work gets the chance to bust you for it.
While cannabis is remarkably safe, stigma still surrounds the herb. Many employers test for THC, but these detox drinks may help you pass future drug tests.