In the photo above, you’ll see Jolene’s first pre-drink test. It is very positive. The “C” on the test stands for “Control.” The line next to it appears whether the test is negative or positive. The “T” stands for “Test.” If a line appears in “T,” the test is negative. If no line appears, the test is positive. As you can see above, Jolene was not able to produce a “T” line because she is high af.
But do they actually, like, work? This is a question even the most diligent Googler is wont to find. As it stands, all the available information on these detox drinks seems to be either an obvious paid promotion for one brand or another, or come from anons with usernames like Stoner4Lyfe420 on eight-year old marijuana message board threads.
It’s a light line, but it’s there.
Photo on left from Getty Images. Right and all other photos via the author
When it comes to balancing a professional life with even a casual weed habit, American stoners have a delicate line to walk. Despite being recreationally legal in nine states and medicinally legal in 29, the federal ban on marijuana consumption means employers across the country have the right to refuse or terminate the employment of anyone who fails a drug test for THC.
Luckily for them, and those of us who enjoy the occasional after-work blunt or who use marijuana to treat otherwise unmanageable chronic illnesses, there’s an entire industry devoted to beating the dreaded piss test. With enough advanced notice, there might be several ways you could go—quitting outright, subbing your dirty pee with a straight edge friend’s. But if your boss springs the news on you with only hours to spare, you’ve got pretty much one viable option: detox drinks.
First up, we had Jolene try out a 17-ounce bottle of Rescue Detox. According to Karen, the very sweet Applied Sciences customer service lady we reached at the “LIVE SUPPORT” number listed at the bottom of the bottle, Jolene had to avoid eating for five hours before she did the cleanse. Luckily, it was Sunday, so Jolene had just woken up from a four and a half hour nap after spending the morning smoking and eating an entire large portion of Popeye’s mac and cheese, as one does.
“Frequent urination indicates that you are experiencing optimal cleansing.”
Karen told her to drink Rescue an hour before “cleansing time,” then refill the bottle with water twice and drink that within 30 minutes. She was then supposed to pee three times, after which she should be good to go for three to five hours. Quite a lot of work!
From the Stinger Detox to the Detoxify Xxtraclean Herbal Cleanse & Rescue Detox, we tested these detox drinks that say they’ll help you pass a urine test.
Cranberry juice & drug tests are almost synonymous. Before detox drinks hit the market, every stoner everywhere would suggest cranberry juice cleanses a few days before drug testing for favorable results. Which isn’t as hokey as it sounds. While you have to make sure and get the 100% juice stuff (as the juice concentrates are filled with sugar and other juices that significantly reduce effectiveness), pure cranberry juice has a multitude of health benefits specifically designed for your urinary system. It can help flush the kidneys, lymphatic system, and intestines of toxins. It can also help treat the symptoms of minor urinary tract infections. Start the juice cleanse about a week before testing and add some water and B vitamins into the mix to sufficiently dilute your urine and get your system out of the gutter.
Detoxify Xxtraclean Herbal Cleanse Stinger
Stinger Detox Deep System Cleanser
Stinger Detox has a massive range of products, but what really makes them stand out is the “5x Extra Strength” drink, which can serve you a clean bill of urine in just 60-90 minutes. Way less time than most other detox drinks. Another added benefit is that you end up drinking way less fluid than most of the other detox drinks available. The initial bottle is only 237mL, which you refill twice with water and drink down. For a total of a measly 711mL. Pee three or four times prior to testing, then you’re good for testing. The company does note that their drinks work best if you steer clear of dairy products and eat healthily. They also suggest staying regularly hydrated with water. Which is good advice whether you’re testing or not.
Published : 05/1/2019 10:38:41
Categories : Marijuana and cannabis Blog
For a healthy body, the best detox drink is a combination of water and time. Because marijuana is a fat soluble drug, the best way to clear it from your system fast is to eat healthy foods that are low in fat and sugar. Maintaining the ideal weight and staying well hydrated are also ways to prime your body to get rid of residuals quickly. If you’re a heavy smoker and you know you have a test coming up, stop smoking as far in advance as you can. The better your overall health is, the less time your body will take to clean itself out.
Who doesn’t love a warm cup of coffee in the mornings? Afternoons, evenings… pretty much every hour of the day. Humans seem to love coffee in the same way that Sam Gamgee loves potatoes. Okay, maybe not in a stew, but definitely for every meal. Coffee is a natural diuretic, which means that it makes you pee, a lot. So coffee, coupled with good water intake will promote urination and help flush your system quick. Again, it’s suggested that you abstain from herb for at least a week prior to testing, but coffee will definitely help you flush out any residual toxins in your system. Make sure that you’re drinking it black or Americano style for you espresso lovers, as heavy dairy or sugar intake will encourage THC to stay in your system longer.
Possibly one of the best known commercially available detox drinks on the market, Rescue Detox drinks are pretty effective. They come in a range of flavors and work within just a few hours. To use, you have to avoid eating for five hours prior to drinking the concoction. An hour or two before testing, drink the full bottle and refill with water twice. Once you’ve drank the whopping 1.5 liters of liquid, pee three times and you should be good to go clean for the nest 3-5 hours.
Short on time but need to clean out your body before a drug test? These detox drinks and best practices will help you prepare to pass with flying colors!