Luckily for them, and those of us who enjoy the occasional after-work blunt or who use marijuana to treat otherwise unmanageable chronic illnesses, there’s an entire industry devoted to beating the dreaded piss test. With enough advanced notice, there might be several ways you could go—quitting outright, subbing your dirty pee with a straight edge friend’s. But if your boss springs the news on you with only hours to spare, you’ve got pretty much one viable option: detox drinks.
As such, we decided to put three brands to the test:
For context, Jolene’s marijuana consumption is probably slightly, but not much, below average for stoners. She smokes a bowl most days after work, and blazes up two to three times a day on the weekends. Occasionally she’ll have an edible or do a dab, but says she usually sticks to traditional smoking methods—bowls, bongs, and joints. Most of these drinks caution “heavy” users to double their dosage, or go with a more concentrated version, so if you smoke more or less than Jolene, you’re likely to have different results. And none of the results we got here should be considered scientific or at all conclusive.
Our test was simple. We ordered a ten-pack of THC pee tests from Amazon for $7.99, and recruited a regular recreational weed smoker—a 28-year-old woman we’ll call “Jolene”—to test out these drinks over the course of a week without altering her normal weed habits. She’d try out one drink every two days, and take a control test before starting each one to make sure she was still testing positive before drinking them. Then she’d follow the directions on each bottle and see whether she could piss herself clean.
According to a poll released by the Society for Human Resource Management, about 57 percent of American companies subject employees to drug tests. That’s down significantly from 81 percent in 1996, possibly because employers are finding it increasingly difficult to find quality candidates who are able to pass.
In the photo above, you’ll see Jolene’s first pre-drink test. It is very positive. The “C” on the test stands for “Control.” The line next to it appears whether the test is negative or positive. The “T” stands for “Test.” If a line appears in “T,” the test is negative. If no line appears, the test is positive. As you can see above, Jolene was not able to produce a “T” line because she is high af.
The drug tests we purchased are pretty standard pee tests. Basically you wee into a cup, take the cap off the drug test, and then submerge the little rectangular piece at the end for about ten seconds. Results take about five minutes. The test we bought for the purposes of this experiment are used specifically to detect THC and nothing else.
“Frequent urination indicates that you are experiencing optimal cleansing.”
While Jeff Sessions seems to believe otherwise, countless studies have shown marijuana to be significantly less dangerous than other Schedule I drugs like heroin and cocaine and much safer than legal substances like alcohol and tobacco. To add insult to injury, when it comes to pre- or post-employment drug testing—which most often takes the form of a urine test—marijuana is the substance that takes the longest to get out of your system.
From the Stinger Detox to the Detoxify Xxtraclean Herbal Cleanse & Rescue Detox, we tested these detox drinks that say they’ll help you pass a urine test.
This means you must never be fooled by any detox drinks which claim to target THC. They simply cannot do that, because all a detox drink does is interact in the bladder, it cannot affect any metabolites that are yet to enter it.
Then you have a small window of opportunity, usually around five hours after you’ve drunk it, during which you can submit your sample. If you have more metabolites in your body, which most of the time you will if you are a regular smoker, then after a few hours, the bladder will fill up with toxins again.
Another great detox drink, from the same company who makes Sub Solution synthetic urine. I would recommend this detox drink for moderate smokers.
They are not cheap, between $50- $80, but these are the best detox drinks you can get. If you buy Mega Clean with pre-rid pills, it costs 69$ it’s definitely a powerful option, you just need to take them the 24 hours before your drug test. Rescue Cleanse and Ultra Eliminex are also great detox drinks. They both work the standard way, you drink them, urinate frequently in the hour afterward, and you should be then clean for up to 5 hours. Rescue Cleanse costs only $55. Ultra Eliminex is probably the strongest detox drink on the market, designed for heavy smokers with large body mass. It’s not cheap, one bottle costs $80, but you get what you pay for.
But for light users, a detox drink is definitely one of the fastest ways to pass a drug test. If you’ve got a couple of days notice, then abstain, that will really help, but the most powerful detox drinks, with a moderate user, will definitely mask the toxins for a handful of hours.
Also, you can’t really submit synthetic urine if it’s a supervised drug test, although they tend to be under the order of courts, probation, or for insurance purposes, rather than the more standard pre-employment, and on-the-job testing.
As long as you submit your sample within about 2-3 hours of your final urination, then you should have a clean sample. Obviously the closer to taking Mega Clean that you submit the sample the better, as you’ll need to allow at least 90 minutes for it to work its magic.
So I talked about synthetic urine a moment ago. If you get good quality stuff, like Sub Solution, then it will pass any type of standard drug test. As long as you’ve got the courage to submit it, by smuggling it into the lab testing facility, then it will pass.
Well, I’m going to tell you the answers right now. We’re going to look at detox drinks vs synthetic urine, what the best detox drinks are, and if you’re in trouble, what the fastest way to pass a drug test actually is.
With so many people smoking weed, but employers still not giving jobs to people they detect smoking the occasional joint, it's no wonder that people are looking to use detox drinks for THC, to cover up the fact they smoke a bit of weed.