The drink itself was a bright, neon yellow that looked slightly radioactive. Jolene said it tasted like synthetic blueberries and had a distinct aftertaste. She chugged it down over the course of ten minutes, and then refilled the bottle twice, choking down gulp after gulp of weird-tasting water until her stomach was bursting with 1.5 liters of liquid.
While Jeff Sessions seems to believe otherwise, countless studies have shown marijuana to be significantly less dangerous than other Schedule I drugs like heroin and cocaine and much safer than legal substances like alcohol and tobacco. To add insult to injury, when it comes to pre- or post-employment drug testing—which most often takes the form of a urine test—marijuana is the substance that takes the longest to get out of your system.
When it comes to balancing a professional life with even a casual weed habit, American stoners have a delicate line to walk. Despite being recreationally legal in nine states and medicinally legal in 29, the federal ban on marijuana consumption means employers across the country have the right to refuse or terminate the employment of anyone who fails a drug test for THC.
First up, we had Jolene try out a 17-ounce bottle of Rescue Detox. According to Karen, the very sweet Applied Sciences customer service lady we reached at the “LIVE SUPPORT” number listed at the bottom of the bottle, Jolene had to avoid eating for five hours before she did the cleanse. Luckily, it was Sunday, so Jolene had just woken up from a four and a half hour nap after spending the morning smoking and eating an entire large portion of Popeye’s mac and cheese, as one does.
But do they actually, like, work? This is a question even the most diligent Googler is wont to find. As it stands, all the available information on these detox drinks seems to be either an obvious paid promotion for one brand or another, or come from anons with usernames like Stoner4Lyfe420 on eight-year old marijuana message board threads.
Photo on left from Getty Images. Right and all other photos via the author
“Frequent urination indicates that you are experiencing optimal cleansing.”
In the photo above, you’ll see Jolene’s first pre-drink test. It is very positive. The “C” on the test stands for “Control.” The line next to it appears whether the test is negative or positive. The “T” stands for “Test.” If a line appears in “T,” the test is negative. If no line appears, the test is positive. As you can see above, Jolene was not able to produce a “T” line because she is high af.
As such, we decided to put three brands to the test:
From the Stinger Detox to the Detoxify Xxtraclean Herbal Cleanse & Rescue Detox, we tested these detox drinks that say they’ll help you pass a urine test.
While Detoxify’s instructions don’t say anything about abstaining from food, they do suggest that you stop smoking for as long as possible before using their drinks. Once you’ve put down the pipe for a bit, drink the entire contents of the bottle, refill once with water, then pee three or four times. After that, you should be able to pass a drug test for up to the next five hours.
Published : 05/1/2019 10:38:41
Categories : Marijuana and cannabis Blog
Stinger Detox Deep System Cleanser
The best science that money can buy for assign a drug test can now come in a bottle. While some of these drinks are disgusting at minimum, and can cause some tummy discomfort at maximum, they can get you peeing clean and clear in just a few hours. Even if you’re a heavy user.
It’s also rare that any employer who’s trolling your urine for drugs, to differentiate between recreational use and medical. So whether you’re hitting a blunt to relax, or poppy a gummy for chronic pain, most employers don’t care. Dirty pee is dirty pee. Luckily for all users, there are some simple ways to clean your system for a drug test, fast.
Most of the toxins in our bodies are mitigated and eliminated thanks to the help of our liver and kidneys. Key points to remember in keeping these filter organs happy are to drink plenty of water, eat a low sodium, low sugar diet, and try and abstain from high amounts of alcohol use. The happier these organs are, the quicker you self clean.
If you’ve got a bit more time on your hands before testing begins and want to try something a little more natural, there are a few options to get your urine clear and clean. Most of the natural drink approaches require at least a few days of non-smoking and heavy drinking. For hefty users and the slightly overweight stoner, you may want to give yourself a few smoke free weeks while cleansing with these beverages.
Detoxing for a drug test can be a nightmare, especially if you’ve only got a little bit of time to clean out your system. Because weed can stay in your system far longer than almost any other recreational drug, getting clean urine on the quick can be a sticky subject for marijuana smokers.
Short on time but need to clean out your body before a drug test? These detox drinks and best practices will help you prepare to pass with flying colors!